An Overview of Legal Disputes with Your Sibling
When it comes to legal disputes that involve more than one family member, siblings are often the individuals caught in the crossfire. In fact, in many instances when estate or trust litigation is pursued, the dispute is between siblings that have very different views of what role they should play in the litigation. And as if this weren’t bad enough, the litigation process often causes irreparable harm to sibling relationships that will likely never be repaired. As a result, it’s a good idea to consult with an attorney and legitimately consider whether litigation makes sense.
A common scenario is when the family is estranged during the administration of a decedent’s estate or a guardian-adult ward’s estate. In such cases, one sibling may refuse to engage in discussions regarding the administration of the estate with a brother or sister (and perhaps might have been the sibling who caused the estrangement). In such cases, the other sibling might feel compelled to file a Lawsuit in court to compel the first sibling to comply with his or her fiduciary duties. However, if there is a valid estrangement, other family members and/or friends may be more likely to come to the side of the plaintiff than the defendant in the Lawsuit . Fighting with a sibling or discussing "dirty laundry" that has never been previously disclosed outside of the family is not something that might be positive for the defendant in the Lawsuit to do.
Part of the problem here is that litigation is public and the Surrogate Court is not a place to hide dirt. When people fight in public, they end up looking bad to others, and it is particularly bad when that happens within a family.
Some common types of litigation among siblings include: The discovery process in litigation can be brutal and can focus on very sensitive areas. Also, there is little to no opportunity to practice "damage control" in litigation (this block of text will be in the final document). If the case goes to trial, the results are final and almost never good.
When the dust clears, you want to make sure to have a plan that preserves relationships with your siblings and family. The best way to do this is to talk with a qualified lawyer and draft a plan of action that takes into consideration the personal as well as the legal ramifications of your choices. We can help with this.
Dispute Resolution and Pre-Lawsuit Options
Before you get to the courthouse, it is critical to attempt to resolve your conflict with your sibling. Especially if you are acting through estate planning documents – because trust law only allows beneficiaries to file lawsuits in very limited situations. Often estates are fully governed by trust documents such that no court proceedings are required. Thus, the first stop for a fiduciary looking for guidance on appropriate action is the language of the trust, which must be followed.
Many times, problems can be alleviated without ever going to court. The final arbiter of the decedent’s wishes is the written document itself – the will, the trust, the brokerage account agreement, etc. Additionally, several other conflict resolution options can be utilized to settle disputes with siblings.
Mediation is a process where, with the assistance of a third-party neutral, the parties meet to discuss the issues, with the hope of reaching a resolution. Mediating with your sibling can be a useful method to resolve issues amicably, before resorting to litigation. It may also give you insight as to your sibling’s side of the dispute. Of course, if there has been a major breakdown in parent-child relations, there may be no possibility of resolving the conflict without filing a lawsuit and laying out the issues for a judge to decide.
The other alternative, negotiating with your sibling(s), can help to resolve minor conflicts. Many times, there may be a solution that you and your sibling have not considered during the course of your disagreement. By working together through the issues, you may avoid filing a probate or trust lawsuit.
File a Lawsuit Against a Brother or Sister
In order to take your dispute with your sibling into the courtroom you must have legal grounds. Your relationship has no bearing on these issues. The court is not going to hear testimony about how your brother cheated you out of your favorite baseball card in 1987 or how your sister wronged you in high school, unless those violations have some legal grounds for taking them into the courts. One of the main examples you could sue your sibling for is breach of fiduciary duty. This is a situation in which the fiduciary failed to act in the best interest of the estate inventory. The fiduciary generally handles the affairs of the estate, keeps good records, and disbursements are verified. When liability arises, the issue is if the actions were grossly negligent or not. A sibling might also try to take you to court if you have access to a financial account and you do not disclose the existence and balances of it to them. For example, if you helped your parents open a bank account and established yourself on it prior to death, your siblings might hold you liable if you did not disclose that information to them beforehand. Another example is if your sibling claims that you violated a legal agreement. This could be that you have access to the family home or that you are supposed to care for a family farm. If they believe that they cannot trust you, then they might hold you liable for that. Lastly, an example that sometimes happens between siblings when it comes to family businesses is violations of a business contract. For example, your mother and father may have drawn up a contract between you and your sibling that says you will both be equally involved in your family coffee shop. If you chose to back out at some point, and the contract stated that you would inherit more value if you made a certain number of contributions to the business, your sibling has the right to make you adhere to that contract.
The Litigation Process in Family Disputes
When it comes to lawsuits between siblings, the same general litigation process as any other civil suit applies. However, it is crucial that you have the right attorney for this sensitive and complex matter. If you have siblings or other family members who are highly dysfunctional, hiring an attorney who has experience with these situations is a must.
In general, the litigation process can be broken down into the following steps:
Filing a lawsuit: After the Complaint is drafted and filed, the process begins with service of process. Once a Complaint has been served, the other party has 30 days to file a response. The 30 day window is not absolute; the other party can file an Answer after 30 days, but there would be a motion for leave to file late and potentially consequences of default if there is no legal reason presented to excuse the delayed filing. A default could lead to potentially adverse outcomes to the other party before the case goes further into litigation or possibly without further litigation if there is no Answer filed. Discovery: The purpose of discovery is to allow information gathering to better prepare for trial. Like in a federal court action , in New York State there is no limit on the number of requests for information/examination of documents or requests to examine a party under oath (depositions). However, in New York County, the Court has adopted a rule that limits the number of requests for information/examination of documents (interrogatories and demand for documents) to either 25 each or whatever can reasonably be replied to within the time periods set by the Court. Motions: It is possible to file motions to the Court at any time to request information from the other side or ask the court to decide procedural matters. This can be done if something is particularly confusing or if both parties have differing opinions about what they must exchange in discovery. Trial: If the matter cannot be resolved prior to trial, either because one party refuses to compromise and/or the case is too complicated to settle, then the case will go to trial. A jury trial can be requested although a bench trial is much more common. Both parties will present evidence and witnesses to the Judge, who will ultimately render a verdict.
Effects of Taking Legal Action
The decision to go to court against a relative is never an easy one. First, there is the emotional toll of turning from family member to adversary. Even a simple case can be rife with suppressed feelings, hurtful accusations, and allegations intended to harm. Siblings may lash out at one another through the interplay of court proceedings. While some courts will attempt to mediate this effect, others fail to provide proper psychological interventions, which can lead to lasting trauma. Then there is the financial cost of litigation. Depending upon the complexity of the case, lawyer fees can rise exponentially. Even in low-stakes cases, it may be necessary to hire experts and acquire other resources, which can ultimately result in a major dent in savings. Beyond this disquieting toll lies the potential for long-term disassociation between family members. Some families are able to reconcile following a legal case, either because of the basic tenets of the law or via therapeutic means. Others remain embroiled in bitterness. Siblings can go from adversaries back to allies relatively quickly, but this is rarely the case for parents and grandparents. No matter the case, litigation often sets up a sense of egalitarianism that can trigger latent sibling rivalries. An adult child may feel superior to a parent who has "sued" them over a fortunes worth of funds or property. In turn, parents may resent the notion that one sibling has "won" at the perceived expense of the other companions. The potential for lifelong rifts is a common deterrent against legal escalation. Often, accused parties will attempt to avoid court through alternative means. This may include informal mediation by an attorney or trusted family member, formal mediation with a neutral third party, and counseling. Many siblings opt for a structured program that indicates a willingness to work together for their shared benefit, including court-monitored visitation (for grandchildren or other relatives), shared liabilities, health-related management strategies, and other concerns. Even in complex situations, this can prove to be a far more productive solution than direct treatment.
Suing vs. Other Options
When disputes arise between adult siblings, particularly those that involve the family home or finances, the level of conflict can become so intense that litigation may seem to be the only way to resolve the matter. However, litigation is likely to take its toll emotionally, physically, and even financially, which makes it worth exploring whether there are alternative ways to resolve the dispute outside of court. In fact, there are several options that can lead to a satisfactory resolution outside of a court of law.
Arbitration, for example, is one approach where the parties can agree to allow an independent arbitrator to make binding decisions, which can be faster, cheaper and more discreet than going to court. This device does not require the litigation process , and a binding decision by the arbitrator means that the parties do not need to proceed to a court trial or appeal. Another option that can work well if the parties can remain calm and cooperate is family therapy. Individuals who have been through similar experiences with their siblings can attest to the effectiveness of this approach for resolving conflict and moving forward in a positive direction.
Other opportunities for resolving the issues may include consensual mediation, request for mediation from the court, or a collaborative law approach to find a resolution to the conflict. Considering the alternatives to going to court might lead to a quicker and longer-lasting resolution than forcing the issue through litigation.